As thinking beings, we can not not set boundaries or can we?
As I write this article I recall the email I received form Michael Hall (Neuro Semantics) where he stated:
“Frame” in Neuro-Semantics describes any and all “frames of mind” or “frames of meaning” that we use to make sense of and understand something else. So every belief is a frame, so is every value, every decision, every memory, etc.
You agree with me, a frame is a boundary, don’t you? As you read his statement you may notice everything is limited by our thinking. For if we don’t limit our selves, we don’t know where something ends or begins for that matter. Now that we have established the fact we live by borders / frames that keep us from becoming neurotic. We now also have the ability to freely choose which border we want to use as frame of the game we play. Or do we not? If not, be sure you to learn how to “nail the inner game” frame by which we learn how to tackle your Inner Resources that hold you back from doing the things that you want to do masterfully and learn new things easily.
Lately, I was triggered by the thoughts of Anné Linden in her book “Boundaries in Human Relationships”. I recognize this Boundary aspect to be very crucial in our relationships indeed. Although, as I think this book needs another read/correct/improvement overhaul, it is a good starter to bring up the thinking juices for implementing the knowledge of Boundaries in our relational life.
When you are getting interested in “Boundaries in relationships” I suggest you surf to www.coping.org. This is a wonderful site where very interesting information about coping with life and its facets is given to you for free.
The effect of Boundaries in relationships — We think-emote-feel boundaries because it gives us reason to be and know what we are [talking about]. It is a good thing to go with the flow and feel happy and unbound, sometimes. But then there are moments we encounter our memories/believes/values and have to take them into account – consciously or unconsciously. This is the moment where we can or can not cope with our relationship(s). It can heighten the good feeling or be a big downer. The more stagnant the boundary/frame the more incorruptible we are, the more problems one will experience – internally or externally.
Therapy and Boundaries in relationships — Since we can not not think with boundaries, becoming aware of this you may consider improving the thinking process in therapy by implementing/taking into account the scouting of the topology of your think-emote-feel process 1).
Can you imagine what effective power it has/will have on the way the person in need think-emote-feel’s. One might start thinking of reframing/reconfigure the boundary settings. Yes, you might think of using other NLP/NS strategies to empower the person you are working with and unleash the personality genius inside of him. You even might find yourself having success and gratefulness in the I of the client. Wouldn’t that be great!
1) NLP/Neuro Semantics states: “Everything you think of as a thing, yet you can not touch it physically is a nominalization. Which in fact is a materialization of a process“. Processes are manageable, pliable. And you know what? Processes can be changed. Isn’t that a beautiful “thing” to become aware of?? And that is also true for the process called “Personality”.